


Two's a Crowd

by Applepie



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Amnesia, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-08-24
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applepie/pseuds/Applepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A car accident caused Ryou to develop amnesia. Simple? No;it seems he's repressed his memories of himself, and now thinks he usually acts like Bakura! It's fine and dandy at first, but two's a crowd, especially two Bakuras.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. While Ryou seems to be the source of attention at the moment, I'd like to point out that I'm still the main character.

"WHAT?" I snarled into the phone. Who the hell could be so persistent as to call three times? There was a reason why I refused to answer the annoy device, but do they care? No; instead they take that as an invitation to repeatedly do the same action over and over again.

The stupid Pharaoh's brat's voice leaked through, "Bakura… I – I – Ry-" His voice crackled. Was he finally reaching puberty or what?

"Look, Brat, I have no time to babysit you, and whether you like it or not, I'm not your friend, and I refuse to hold your hand through every tough –"

"NO! Listen, Bakura-"

I growled into the mouthpiece. He  _dared_  to cut off the almighty King of Thieves in the middle of his sentence? "No,  _you_  listen to me, you fucking brat. If you so well as open your damn mouth again, yo-"

The midget of a dueller cut me off again. Yes,  _again_. "It's Ryou; he's-"

"I warned you, you – Wait, what?" Ryou? What did Ryou have to do with this conversation? Where was he, anyways?

"Ryou's in the hospital!" The kid broke out in sobbing tears, "He – hic – the– there was an accident, and – car –" Insert more annoying sobbing sounds, "Crashed, and –"

I let out a spiel of curses, feeling my stomach drop. " _Where_?" I hissed out, simultaneously trying to contact my hikari at the same time.

There was silence in both ends.

"WHERE, DAMN IT?" This was why I  _hated_  that damn midget and his drooling brain-dead friends. Why couldn't they do something as simple as giving Ryou's location?

The Pharaoh himself took the phone on the other end. With a quick apology of Yugi's mental breakdown and the location he should've given at the  _start_  of the damn conversation, I slammed the phone down and bolted out the house.

* * *

Ryou, despite his timid demeanour, was a worthy host – or rather, ex-host, now that all us spirits received our own bodies.

Regardless of being bald and having a bull-shittingly vague speech pattern, Shadii actually managed to do something intelligence for once. His millennium Anhk not only allowed him to plunge into people's hearts, but also to manipulate the contents, in such, letting him split their millennium user's souls and bodies.

Of course, I have to wonder why he didn't do that the  _first_  time we met, sparing some of our  _less_  willing hosts the pain and suffering we inspire just by existing – which, mind you, was all fun and games to inflict onto Ryou.

But we're past that now. I suppose living with someone like him does that to you. Something about that boy just makes you mellow down, and actually willing to seek that pestering light overhead from deep in the comforting well of the past with its neck-high water full of resentment.

We are family, brotherly – in that abusive brotherly way. Verbally abusive, mind you, I wouldn't hurt the poor boy. … if you forget the whole Marik bonding cut on the arm way back, and the late night 'adventures' I drag him into every now and then. Hey, where else do you think he's going to learn some questionable talents from?

Sure he hates them, but he'll adapt.

Sure it's dangerous, but I'm there. But this … why couldn't I be there for this?

Of all things holy and flaming in the light of Rah, why did he have to get into such accidents when I'm not around? Every one of the hundreds of raids I've taken him to, he's managed to suck it up and suffer through it, and now, now a  _single_  car manages to bring him down? After all the training I've giving him, a  _car_ , a rah-god-damn  _car_  brings him down?

* * *

I barged into the room after a great hassle with the receptionist for Ryou's room-number.  _Yes, I'm_ _ **sure**_ _I'm related to him – does_ _ **looking like him**_ _not clue you in?_

The first thing I saw were the two people I hated most, then Ryou's battered, but not too bad, form lying on the hospital bed.

The shorter of the two I despised lunged at me, "This is all your fault, Bakura! Why do you always have to send him running around playing courier for you?" Well, well, the brat grew a back-bone. Finally too, I have to say.

I was so impressed I decided to hold back my snarky remark. He failed to look as pleased as I thought he would.

" _You_  have anything to say to me?" I asked, turning to the other one. The Pharaoh was barricading my way to the bed with Yugi.

"Yugi insisted you be notified about Ryou," he started in his oh-so annoying 'correcting-your-wrong-doings' voice, "But I don't see why you have to be here. Don't think we don't know how you've been treating Ryou. You've been ordering him around like your servant, doing everything for you! Cooking, cleaning, delivering messages!"

Yeah, so what? It's not like I don't let him complain about it – oh, wait, no I don't.

"It's not like he cares." I tried again.

Oh, wait, yes he does; he's just too timid to go against me.

"That's besides the point," I continued myself quickly, not letting the Pharaoh add anything in, "Now move away from my hikari." I said, with a quick topic-change.

With a seething (greatly ignored) glare at me, he reluctantly moved with a tug from his light. Ah, we see who dominates who, now don't we? I smirked at the thought.

Ryou, on the bed, looked better than I thought he would. Unconscious (hopefully not a concussion), a few bruises, scraped skin, bleeding cuts, no broken bones … I daresay I trained him well, getting off like that after being hit by a car.

"How long has he been like this?"

Yami stared at me, probably trying to figure out my motives for asking, because apparently it's requirement for all Tomb Robbers to lack compassion. Or whatever thought that flashed through his mind – if, though I highly doubt it, there actually  _was_ anything in there. "An hour – maybe two. Yugi and I saw an ambulance on the way home, and saw Ryou being lifted into it. We followed it back to the hospital, and when Yugi finally calmed down, he went out to call you."

"Eh." I flopped down on the chair positioned beside the bed, "Great, now I have to sit here for awhile before he wakes up. How boring."

The Pharaoh, with his thousand-year old hearing loss, snapped his head over at me with a "What did you say?"

Which part? "How boring?" I ventured lazily.

"You! How dare you!" How dare I what? "Ryou's badly injured, and here you are acting like it's no big deal? Pretending it doesn't concern you! Do you know how lucky he is he's still alive? You heartless bastard, you really don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?"

I dismissed his accusations, "Stop being so melodramatic. I guess pretending to a Pharaoh ordering around those so-called loyal servants really gave you a feel for acting."

"Are you saying I really don't care about Ryou?"

"Living in a fantasy for so long has really meddled with -" wait, the Pharaoh didn't have a brain, "- the gapping hole between your eyes occupied by a vortex of egotistical  _self-admiration_  - because no one is stupid enough to feed your ego especially when you don't deserve it."

I watched almost giddily as the Pharaoh visibly bristled under the insult.

He forced himself to calm down, "Are you only here to offend me, Tomb Robber, or did you come here to check on your light?" he asked arrogantly.

Bringing up Ryou  _again_! Could he not spout a sentence without the word Ryou in it, or was that too much to ask? Don't tell me my hikari's name's the only reason he could talk in full, coherent sentences.

"I do admit it was getting quite boring at home. Ryou gives me an excellent excuse to be out."

Yami's eyes were ablaze with anger, engulfed with flames I thought only Rah himself could produce. Idly I wondered if the Pharaoh only managed it because of the lack of internal organs. A cavern skull full of nothing but oxygen really does burn the best.

"I'm kidding." I drawled. Seriously, his lack of humour was sad to the point of embarrassing. "Why else do you think I came here?"

A sniffle from the shorter one caught my attention. How he stealthy moved from the doorway to the opposite side of the bed, without me knowing, I don't know. Considering the quaking mass he was, I wouldn't have been surprised if a nurse carried him over to the bed beside, thinking he was another patient.

He looked at me, "Is he going to wake up?"

"He's fine." I replied as monotonous as I could. Can you not see I don't want to talk to you? Or are you ignoring that blatant signal my body's giving you like you blatantly ignored the fact that normal people aren't home, or want to be left alone if they don't pick up the phone after you've called them three times  _in a row_.

After a quick mental debate, I decided to go with the idea that he shared a single brain-celled with the other moron behind me.

"Is there nothing you can do?"

If it'll make you shut up, I can try. I grabbed my millennium ring around my neck and focused on it, trying to call Ryou out.

Like the last time I tried, I got no response.

_Hikari, you'd better not be pretending you can't hear me! Get your lazy ass out here and get this endless well of tears away from me!_

Still, I got no reaction.

This was beginning to annoy me. After all, there was  _nothing_  the King of Thieves could not do, and a little hikari would not be the one to prove me wrong.

The Ring flashed gold as I poured my energy into it hoping the sheer power would fix any stray, broken ends of the bond I couldn't find. An identical ring on Ryou's chest lit up in response.

"What are you trying to do, Tomb Robber?"

I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of the man, "Are you going to question every single move I make?"

"Obviously, since you'll never change for Ryou, or even take care of him." He snapped back, inching towards his own hikari fearing I would hurt the brat, or something equally as childish in response. There was no way I was going to coddle my boy like he did to his.

"There's no merit for me to change the way I act."

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

"Of course," I was about to go on, but something in the Ring twitched.

Someone groaned behind me. Finally Ryou was waking up. I turned around watching his eyes slowly crack open.

"… Bakura?"

I pointed towards the Pharaoh in triumph, "See, told you my Hikari's fine," I turned to my light, "Now tell this idiot you're just bruised up, and let's go home and cook me some dinner."

"H- home?" he slurred out.

"Yeah; I could do with some steak. Sitting here for so long waiting for you to wake up has giving me an appetite."

"You just got here.  _We've_  been here for a couple hours." Yami called in the background.

"Now home? Dinner?"

Ryou stared eerily at me for a moment, slowly focusing, before his eyes suddenly narrowed into a glare, "Cook you dinner? Hell, no; what am I, your bitch?" he spat out.

The group dropped silent.

That was  _not_  Ryou.


	2. And you wondered why I tend not to do favours for people...

_In my defense, it was just a reflex reaction._

The door to Ryou's hospital room finally opened, and the damned doctor who sent me out of the room looked over.

"What?" I snarled.

He merely acknowledged me with a minute nod and a glaring, disapproving frown.

_Who did he think he was?_

You can't blame me for what happened in there. It was a reflex reaction! What else did you expect me to do? I mean, it looked like Ryou, but I stick with the statement: "If it looks like a Ryou, sounds like a Ryou, and acts like a Ryou, it  _is_  a Ryou." And in my defense, he didn't act like a Ryou, therefore I  _MOST CERTAINLY_  had a reason to hit him unconscious.

Of course I did.

And you know what; if that midget of a brat hadn't started yelling, this would have never happened. I swear, half of the hospital came running to see what the problem was! Am I paying them for watching us entertain them? If we are, I can assure you I can entertain in a  _much_  more interesting manner. Heck, you might actually realize the purpose of a hospital once I'm done!

And then that damned doctor came in! What's the first thing the doctor does? Why send me out of the room, of course! Send  _me_  –- yes,  **me** \- out of the room! Who did they think I hit Ryou for? No one cared that I did this for their sakes, did they? I was just saving them for what seemed like a threat. I mean, how can I be sure that  _really_ was Ryou?

I try doing them one act of kindness, and this is where it leads me – outside the room, on the dirty ground, with old people staring at me like I'm some sort of prized golden false teeth. Yes,  _that_  look.

And despite what I  _know_  you're thinking, Pharaoh, I'm NOT sulking out here! Grown men don't sulk; we brood in a fan-girl approved manner, and nothing lower than that. _Especially_  the King of Thieves.

* * *

I dusted myself of as a walked back into the room, gleefully scaring off the old goats with a half summon of The Grim Reaper. That'll show them.

Ryou, in the room and awake once more, stared at me indifferently, dismissing me with a quick shift of his attention.  _This was new_.

I took a large step, planting myself in front of his face. "You have something to say to me?"

His first reaction was a snort, then a full out maniacal laughter. Seriously, this was new. Ryou doesn't do maniacal laughters, I do. And even that's just for impact's sake.

A short, stubby arm hooked mine from behind, pulling me back.

"What?" I hissed exasperatedly. Am I just not intimidating enough anymore, or has my presence in the mortal world inspired people to be more bold and daring?

The short one, teary-eyed and all, tugged me (unsuccessfully) down to his level before continuing in a hush, wailing tone. "The doctor called it  _Dissociative_ _Fugue_."

_What is; your lack of height?_

I stared at him as blankly as I could. A rather hard task if you ask me. These eyes are just too handsome and bright to be able to seem blank. "In case you've forgotten, brat-midget, I'm from one thousand - do I need to say that again? - one thousand years ago. That time, if you had any common sense like people should, you should know we placed more trust in things called magic rather than this measly science medicine you have nowadays."

"Well -"

"One. Thousand. Years. Ago." I emphasized, just to make sure it sank in.

The short one stared at me with - ah, yes,  _that_ was the look I was trying to get earlier. He makes it look so easy to do.

" _Dissociative Fugue_ ," The Pharaoh, with his almighty, unwelcomed interrupting skill, interrupted, "Is a form of amnesia."

"Aren't you suppose to forget things when you have amnesia; not become a mini-me?" I questioned.

"A  _form_  of amnesia, Tomb Robber." He repeated.

I glared at him.  _I heard it the FIRST time, thank you very much._

"This  _form_ ," he continued, "is usually when one cannot recall one's past and looses their own identity. They usually also form a new identity because of this." He closed in, "The doctor also said in most cases,  _dissociative fugue_  is caused by psychological trauma," the Pharaoh grabbed my jacket, "Are you  _sure_  you didn't do anything to him?"

It was funny how memory loss seemed like such a common thing these days. What other types of amnesia were there anyways. The Pharaoh probably had Stupid amnesia - memory loss due to stupidity. " _You're_  the one who told me he was hit by a car," I drawled, "I can assure you  _I_  wasn't driving that car, if that's what you want to know."

I would've done something to Yami for having the audacity to wrinkle my jacket, had my Light not suddenly decide to bash the Pharaoh in the face with his Millennium Ring. I followed suit with my own, of course. Who can blame me? It was a new and incentive way to use the Ring. In fact, I was quite ready for round two, but my Light merely sat back down on his bed. Hitting the Pharaoh all by myself wasn't really as fun, I realized as I tried it once more. So, I just sat down beside Ryou.

"You know, I think I like you better this way." I told him.

He snorted, positively amused, and I took that as a good sign regardless of what came out of his mouth. "We'll I hate you. You're loud, annoying, egotistical, obnoxious and way too full of yourself. I only hit the Pharaoh because he was in my way when I tried to hit  _you_." I nodded to myself. Yup,  _completely regardless_  of what came out of his mouth.

"And," he continued, "If it weren't fo-"

"You know what, just shut up." I interrupted quickly.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Can't bear to hear the truth?"

I gave him a friendly pat - alright, fine, I admit, I smacked him - on the head. "Like I said; I think I like you better this way."  _-if he'd learn to direct his snappy remarks towards other people and not me._

He sighed exasperatedly, but backed down like the Ryou I knew. "Good boy," I rewarded, and he ignored my spectacular words of praise.


	3. Pharaoh Virus may include: Midgetness, Hot air, Stupidity, Lame sense of Humour, Squeakyness, Leather-obsessiveness, Twitchy eye, Food Pheromone. -Approach at your own risk.

"Me?" I repeated, "You want  _me_  to take care of the deranged Ryou?"

"I'm not deranged." Ryou retorted behind me for the umpteen time, while the other two continuously tried to drag me out of the room for this conversation.

I swatted their puny hands away yet again. "I'm not moving from this spot for the likes of you." The leather-obsessed midget's watering eyes didn't even begin to tickle my heart strings. Ryou, however, seemed to keep his old meek personality, for in the next second, his foot found my back and I was kicked of my side of the bed.

"Look at that," I pointed out to the brats, "He hates me." I cut them off, "Case closed."

"No," the star-shaped head replied, "He's just irritated that you're taking his condition so lightly."

"I'm not going to NOT take his condition lightly outside, either way." I retorted back. Seriously, inside, outside made no difference. It was only a door between us. If you wanted, I could Shadow Summon a door right here and shove in front of my Hikari's nose.

"Yeah, but," he wailed miserably, "At least you won't embarrass him by talking about his" he lowered his voice to a whisper, " _problems."_

Right, and you think he wouldn't realize what we were talking about if we took it outside? It's been the major topic here since I arrived. Ryou wasn't brain-dead you know - like  _some_  people in here.

I, yet again, seriously wondered if the nurses had the wrong patient on the bed.

"Look here, the one with a problem here is you and your inability to grow enough testosterone to mature," I drawled, "As for my Hikari, he thinks he's me, so he must think like me. I don't think there's any problems with speaking here instead of outside with all the old geezers, so he must think it's fine too. Okay?"

"Hey!" The Ryou on the bed flailed, "I might APPARENTLY think I'm you, but I'm still me. So I can think for myself." He had his hands on his hip, and eyes narrowed into a somewhat pout-like glare.

I gave him a two out of ten for the attempt. Glaring isn't that easy, you know. It took me years in front of a mirror to get mine down pat.

"Look, you're the one admitted to the hospital, not me." I deadpanned, daring him to prove me wrong, "Act like a patient and lie down dead on the bed. As the one with the problem, you're too out of it to know what you're talking about."

He rolled his eyes, the colour of pencil shavings in wet sand.  _Chocolate brown_  is not a manly way to describe things. And  _brown_ is so mundane. "Fine."

I gave a victorious smirk.

Ryou continued, "And since apparently I can't think for myself, and anything I think is what you think; that means what I'm thinking now is what you're thinking." He gave a glace over at me, "I never knew you wanted to take Yugi out shopping to ask for fashion tips." he cried innocently.

"WHAT?" I snapped. Who in their right minds would want to wear that much fucking, skin tight leather, especially in the Domino City heat? It was as if the stupid brat-midget twins  _wanted_  to get heat stroke, all the while making walking as uncomfortable as possible. Even wrapping plastic bags around their naked bodies would prove to be more comfy. It would most likely burn flaming charred holes through my eyes, but _definitively_ more comfortable. "That's your thought, not mine."

"Uh uh." Ryou shook his head, "Didn't you just say what I think is what you think?" His eyes gleamed, positively amused, and I resisted the urge to find a new use for my dangly pointers of the Millennium Ring.

"Not that particular thought." I denied.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, so now I have selective Bakura thinking?"

"Yes." I lied. "You know what, just shut your flabby mouth. You talk too much lately."

"APPARENTLY I think I'm you. Does that tell you anything?"

I gave him a glare as the stuffy Pharaoh and his short, height-rejected counterpart laughed at Ryou's comments. Great, they liked him better than they liked me. No, I wasn't jealous! I mean  _I'm_  the original Bakura, aren't I?

"You know what? Fine; I'll take you home." I said succinctly. The dwarf little brat grinned up at me. I ignored him in favour of my thoughts of revenge on my Light. Personality change or not, he was still that little meek Hikari of mine underneath. It would be a fun experiment to see how much I could put him through before he cracked.

Chattering, eerily reminding me of chipmunks, filled the room, as I tried to tune it out. That squeaky, high-pitched voice of the brat's really got on my nerves. Some days you really had to wonder if perhaps he swallowed a squeaky dog chew toy when he was younger. I wouldn't doubt it. Some girl probably mistook him for a puppy who followed her home, and fed him a rubber bone. And not just one bone, mind you. _Several._

"… and get him checked in to the doctor once a week for any change." My brain caught. Wait, what? I stared at the oblivious star-burst shaped head of the brat's as he continued to chatter on.

"Check in  _EVERY_ week?" I interrupted, "Do I look like I have that much free time on my hands?" My eye twitched. I think it twitch rather visibly because I lost my vision for half a minute as it forced shut. But do they notice? No!

They took it in stride, "Yup, doctor's orders."

"Well," I bent down to the midget-brat's eye level and patted his head consolingly, "That's what they want kiddies to think. Let the adults take care of this conversation." I left the room in search of that dear,  _beloved_  doctor of Ryou's.

Minutes later, I left his office happily with a reduced mandatory check up session of once a month. I was rather pleased my awesome persuasive skills were still so effective. I didn't even need to start threatening him with my Shadow Monsters yet. A little glare gets you everywhere in life. And probably, I suppose, my glowing eyes helped, you know, slightly -  _just_  slightly.

Hehe.

* * *

"Home, sweet home." I said, slamming the door shut behind me. It opened again.

"Great, shut me out why don't you?"

I glanced over at Ryou letting himself in. "Oops," I said monotonously. "Hey, make me lunch." I added, pointing to the kitchen.

He glanced over unamused, "And you can't do this yourself because… ?"

I slouched down in a couch in front of the device they called a television. I propped my feet up on the small coffee table in front of it. "Too far." I responded back. Never mind the fact that getting to the kitchen from the front door is a lot closer than getting to the living room.

"Of course." Ryou deadpanned. Despite that, the sound of his footsteps padded towards the kitchen. I grinned in my couch. There was the Ryou I knew-

-or so I thought.

"Fuck!" I pushed myself off the carpet rug, hand on my throbbing head. "What the hell was that?"

Ryou, cocked his head to the side, looking like a clueless puppy. Just looking at him made me want to take a kick at him. "Hmmm… I believe that's what we call a head of cabbage." he said innocently.

I stared at the object in my hand …  _it was_. A twitch came back in my eye - I think it was a side effect of being around the midget twins too long today. "And you know what else I can count in heads?" I growled out. Ryou slowly edged backwards, "YOURS!" I snarled, leaping over the couch in pursue of my prey. That's right, Ryou; cower. Fear. Run like the little white puppy you are.

I will have fun kicking puppies today!

I slid into behind the boy, only to have a face full of something else. It was cold, squishy, and smelt a lot like blood. "The hell?" I peeled the packaged frozen meat from my face. What, does my head attract food now? Some kind of food pheromones emit from me or something?

I growled, that's what I get for hanging around the Pharaoh for so long. At least I found out how he could afford everything he ate. You don't really expect me to believe that he'd be able to find a job, do you? With his level of stupidly? And I'm talking about the contagious kind of stupidly.

I wiped my face with my sleeve as Ryou grinned slyly at me.

"Well, since you're in here, why don't you make your own food, Bakura?" Ryou said mock-sweetly. That snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my frozen steak and glared at him. It was then the walls blinded me, and I realised I was in eye-blinding white kitchen of Ryou's house. Well, damn. I was in the kitchen... You think if I pledge incomprehension and idly walked back into the living room, Ryou would leave me alone? Heck, I mean, it wouldn't be my fault if I didn't realise I was in the kitchen, right?

I threw the cabbage back at his head just as he slipped off, possibly upstairs, before I could say anything. I frowned after him. I hope he gets lost in the house, that brat. Or even drown in the toilet, if that wasn't too much to ask for.

And Ra-dammit, it was all Ryou's fault I fell for such an obvious plot. It was his fault I had to be stuck in a room with the stupid Pharaoh for such along time. And now that damn air-borne Pharaoh virus was latching on to me and making me stupid too! That's what we get from letting the Pharaoh on premises for so long. Why else do you think I refrain from hanging around the annoying bastard all the time? I mean, other than the fact that he's stupid, pathetic, annoying, egotistical, and so on, etcetera, etcetera (geeze, there're just too many reasons to name!).

I waved a hand in front of my face, sniffing disgustedly at things I couldn't see, but _knew_  was there. Looks like I need a shower to get rid of all this Pharaoh virus hanging around before it affected me any further. Ra, just how much would I need to scrub to get rid of it all? Do you know how long I spent with him today for your sake, Ryou? And you thank me by shoving raw slabs of meat in my face?

Ra, I'm going to have to spent hours in the bathroom before it's safe again. My stomach grumbled in response to my brilliant idea. Crap, now I'm hungry as well.

I stared at the slab of meat in my hand, and then the empty air before me.

Food, Virus. Food. Virus.

Oh, Ra, this is what happens when I spend too much time with leather-midgets. I could feel my brain deteriorating with every breath I took. Maybe I needed to order some gas masks for emergencies.

I let out a sigh.

I risked my life by coming near the dreadful Pharaoh virus just to pick up Ryou, and the midgets have the audacity to call me a horrible Yami? Oh Ra, the things I do for my Hikari. If only he knew.


End file.
